Muggle Misadventures, According to Charlie Weasley
by DolbyDigital
Summary: Five instances where Charlie comes into contact with a Muggle device, and the confusion they bring.
1. With A Rubber Duck, One's Never Alone

His dad bounded into the kitchen, having just arrived home from work, seemingly more excited than anyone who had just finished a full shift had any right to be.

"Dad?" he asked, somewhat wearily, watching his dad place a small peck on his mother's lips and another on the baby's head.

"Charlie! Brilliant!" His dad rounded on him with a manically excited grin. "Get your brothers, I've got something to show you all!"

"What is it?" his mum asked, at the same time as he yelled:

"Guys! Get in here!" He could hear complaints from the adjoining room, but his brothers seemed to be on their way - slowly, perhaps, but it was really the best he could have hoped for.

"Well, I could have done that," his dad said with a frown, momentarily deflating.

"Why didn't you, then?"

"Charlie," his mum's warning tone put an abrupt end to that line of conversation.

"What d'you want?" Percy asked, scowling around the kitchen.

"Dad says-"

"Look," Arthur interrupted his second-eldest loudly, pulling an object out from the folds of his robes and setting it down in the centre of the table, the bright yellow standing out even in the organised chaos of the Weasley's kitchen.

All six boys stared at the _thing_ in silence, even the youngest two quieted in the face of this extraordinary object.

"What is it?" his mum asked again, staring unimpressed.

"It's a rubber duck," Arthur whispered, still not turning from the object.

"What does it do, Dad?" Bill asked.

"I have no idea."


	2. The Temperamental Nature of Machines

"Charlie? _What_ is taking your dad so long?" his mum snapped, clearly at the end of her patience.

"Well, there's this… machine that gives you the tickets. It's like Muggle magic!" Charlie exclaimed enthusiastically, before continuing in a much more subdued tone. "But I don't think it works very well."

They both turned to the crowd of assorted Weasleys gathered around the machine, hearing muttered curses from the three trying to get it to work.

"Go help them," his mum sighed, hefting Ginny higher on her hip.

"But I don't-"

"Help. Them," his mum ground out, pointing towards the chaos.

He sighed, pushing through his brothers, to find his dad and the twins, pound coins littering the floor about their feet.

"Mum said I should help," he said, still staring at the gold coins covering the floor.

"We don't need help, we need a less temperamental machine," his dad muttered as the machine rejected yet another coin.

"There's a ticket office." Charlie gestured to the small window in the grey wall, and the bored looking man seated behind it.

"Bloody machine," George scowled and kicked the wall next to it.

"Mum's not going to be happy about that."


	3. Sometimes, You're Really Not Paid Enough

**A/N -** ["Percy's with Audrey, but" - Ginny winces as a resounding clang echoes from the kitchen - "Dad's home."] from The Salem Bride (I'll edit in the author later).

* * *

"Where is everyone?" Charlie asked, noting the oddly silent house.

"Percy's with Audrey, but" - Ginny winces as a resounding clang echoes from the kitchen - "Dad's home. I don't know where anyone else is."

"Who's Audrey?" Charlie tried to ignore the noises now emanating from the kitchen, each growing louder than the last.

"His sometimes girlfriend," Ginny said, increasing the volume of her voice to be heard.

"I don't remember-" At a particularly loud bang, Charlie stopped mid-sentence and stared at the closed kitchen door for a moment, before giving a sigh of resignation. "I suppose we'd better go see what he's doing before Mum gets back."

"Yeah, that wouldn't be pretty."

"Ladies first?" Charlie suggested, receiving a glare from his sister for his efforts. "C'mon, Ginny, it can't be that bad."

"It's like you've never been here," she said incredulously, pushing past him and entering the kitchen. "Dad? What're you doing?" Charlie heard her ask, and hurried to catch up.

His dad had an array of metal and plastic objects spread out across the table, waving his wand at one in particular.

"Hello? Sir? _Please_ just give me your order," a tiny voice crackled out through the miniature plastic brick his dad was focussing all his attention on.

"Dad?" Charlie asked hesitantly, finally managing to get his dad's attention.

"Charlie! Ginny! Look! It's amazing! It's a _phone_! You can talk to someone, and they're not even there!" He gestured wildly at the object.

"Like Floo?" Ginny frowned sceptically.

"No, no. Because they aren't really there, you see. It projects your voice."

"How's that work?" Charlie stepped closer, warily.

"Well, you need to speak loudly, of course, or it won't-"

"No, sir, you really don't!"

"Now," his dad pointed his wand at the object - the phone - clearly not for the first time, if the scorch marks surrounding it were any indication. "Let's try this again, shall we?"

"Sir, if you do that one more time I'm hanging up," the voice sounded through the phone, sounding scared but resolute.

"Hanging what up?"


	4. Inside The Belly Of The Beast

**A/N -** Definitely not my best work (it's 3am and I've just spent the last 4 hours looking for a sketchpad), but I'd like to thank Timeless number 1 for the idea. Even if it probably could have been better executed.

* * *

"Why couldn't we just take a port-key?" Charlie heard one of his brothers ask from somewhere behind him.

"Because," his dad responded, with the same teacher-addressing-a-particularly-unintelligent-student tone as he'd been using for at least the last twenty times. Before that he'd been more enthusiastic, but even he must be seeing that this had been a mistake. One look at his mum would tell you that. "We should experience Muggle culture to its fullest."

The girl seated next to him scoffed at that, and Charlie turned to give her a questioning look.\

"I'm sorry, is there a problem?" he asked in his politest tone.

"No, of course not." She smiled in a way that suggested she were lying.

"What, then?" He could feel his irritation rising, but he thought it probably best that there was only one visibly angry Weasley on this metal dragon… _thing_.

"'s that your family?" She indicated the red-heads seated behind him with a nod of her head.

"Yeah. So?"

"How can they not-?" She was interrupted by an excited yell from behind, his dad clearly having regained his enthusiasm for this venture as soon as the thing - _plane? yeah, that sounded about right_ \- had begun to move.

"This is brilliant!" His dad's voice was probably loud enough that everyone on the plane could hear his excitement.

"That must be so embarrassing for you,' the girl said with a smirk.

"You get used to it."


	5. Even The Best Laid Plans

"Charlie! Look at this! Isn't it brilliant?" Charlie sighed, setting his mug onto the counter and following the sound of his dad's voice into the living room.

"That's a T.V, Dad."

"Yes, I know what it is. But look!" His dad gestured wildly at the thing, but Charlie couldn't figure out what exactly it was that he was indicating.

"Ye-es," he drew the word out, "I have one at home… what's…"

"No, but look!"

"What? Dad, I-"

"It's like a portrait!" He explained excitedly, clearly having given up on Charlie ever guessing the right answer. "You can hang them on the wall now!" Charlie was beginning to get a bad feeling about this.

"Did you run this by Mum?" he asked, somewhat hesitantly.

"I don't need to run everything by your mother," his dad replied absently, still fiddling with the telly. He paused briefly, probably thinking through what he had just said. "I'll go ask her."

"Alright," Charlie replied, sceptically, not really liking his dad's chances.

His dad disappeared into the kitchen, and Charlie could hear the quiet murmur of his voice as he spoke.

"You most certainly will not!"


End file.
